Dehydrate
by Maya Sushi
Summary: The world was shrinking. Or was I?
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Megamind. I went to see it though! And it was the best decision of my entire life! Probably. It was awesome.

_**A/N: **_So I usually don't ever write for anything that isn't Fullmetal Alchemist. For some reason I just can't force my fingers to do anything but. This is really short, yeah, but you know, the process of dehydration isn't that long of a thing. Anyway, popped into my head and it needed to come out. This might become a few odd one-shots concerning events in Megamind. So... Mmhmm...

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_**I.**_

_**Dehydrate**_

The world was shrinking.

Or was I?

It was cold and icy and there must be snow. Was it winter here? Is it winter time? Everything's getting smaller and going slower and slower and slower and slower and slower and it's getting colder.

It felt like the world was evaporating. Like someone had set the sun loose and it was a wild animal, feral and out of control, feeding upon the water of my innards. It sucked the carbon bonded hydrogen and oxygen from my entrails and peeled each molecule away from my skin, and the world was shrinking and going slower and slower.

I couldn't remember my name suddenly, and in the same moment I must have forgotten everything else too. I knew that everything was too small and too slow and too dry, and I knew that I knew something more before, but I couldn't possibly know what that was. Could I? I knew who I was, didn't I? No? Well then who was I? What was I?

I'm in a pool of water though. It's swirling around me and above me and all around me, and I feel it against my skin. If I could feel my body enough to move it I would have reached out, grabbed it, drank it, embraced it. All I could feel was the dry. There wasn't enough water, surely, but still, here it was – it was all around me and yet it was nowhere near me – and I realized with a start that it was _leaving _me.

Suspended in this frozen moment and the water was fleeing from me when I needed it the most.

_Why_ did I need it though? _Why_ was I so dry and _why_ was water the thing that cured that? That? There. That was what? Water? Where was it all going anyway? Why was it leaving?

Water, it was water, and it boiled and deconstructed and phased and it was steam, and then, after that, it was nothing. I was nothing too, and I felt some sort of strange panic in my mind telling me to _hold on_ _to something. _Don't get swept away! I thought. Fight! I reasoned. Stop! I pleaded.

I didn't know what I was begging for, or what was happening, or why it was bad. Where did all the water go anyway, and why was it so dry, like ice and frozen air and burnt toast? It was dry. Why was the world so small? Or was it bigger then it had been before, was I the thing that was small?

My thoughts were tearing through my mind so fast that I almost was startled when they stopped all together and –


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Megamind or any of the awesomeness that comes with it!

_**A/N: **_Just another quick one-shot. I thought that Bernard would use big words, so I tried to include at least a couple in here. Haha. Anyway! Megamind is completely un-trod upon ground for me, so review if you love life!

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_**II.**_

_**Bernard**_

–and I woke up in a washing machine.

A _washing_ machine. I was stretching and growing and there was water and cold and clothes and something smacked me nice and good on the top of my head and then suddenly there was light. I could see again. I could smell again – laundry detergent, at least, was a nice smell to wake up to. I could... Why couldn't I before?

In a sudden rush I remembered everything. The dark night, bringing the a cart of books to the other side of the museum, some guy dressed like Megamind out by the Metroman statue. And, oh! I'd told him that it was a horrible get up but it _had_ been Megamind! And he'd dehydrated me!

Where was I now?

I was spinning, first off. That had to stop. So I pried myself out of the machine that I had awoken in and fell wetly to the floor in a great heap, feeling all together like I hadn't quite acquired my sea legs yet. A wave of vertigo overcame me and I felt the room spin – but the room! Oh the room!

Excitement and anxiety rushed over me all at once, and in my confusion I knocked into something that was sparking and half-done, and a momentary shock whipped through my body, tearing up my spine. I yelped, jumping away from the invention and looked around me as quickly as I could. Romanian based Tesla coils and tinted blue-glass lights blinked back at me! Sparking and frayed wires! Cold cement floor! Cyaneous hues everywhere! Everything of of pertaining to Megamind's great bailiwick, his awe inspiring byzantine that he had studied so carefully! He was actually _inside _of the great villain's refuge, his _lair. _This was amazing!

There was a great noise from the doorway, and suddenly the very cerulean alien in question fell through the doorway in a burst of smoke, and I jumped into the air, startled, my head still feeling very confused, and knocked hard into the washing machine.

The blue alien looked up in fright, and screamed when he saw me, shrill and sharp, crawling backward on his hands quickly until he was up against the nearby wall. His hand flew to his heart, and he took a deep breath. I looked blankly at him, wasn't screaming _my _job? Not that I would be scared of him. I'd studied his mannerisms, he really wasn't much of a threat to me. Or so I had thought. How long had it been since he had dehydrated me? And why?

"Bernard!" He squeaked, taking another breath before struggling to his feet. His hand flew to his back and he patted his butt with a wide open mouth, "I've left my dehydrator somewhere!" he exclaimed, before leaning back through the door and calling loudly, "Minion! Find me my dehydrator! And _huss-tel_ Minion! Hurry!"

"It's hustle," I replied absentmindedly, the shock of his presence and my location still fresh in my mind. But I remained passive, "and please, I'd rather not be dehydrated again."

At this he tensed up, almost as if he wasn't expecting me to speak at all, and looked entirely more uncomfortable then was healthy. "Yeah uh... I'd rather... You just _let_ me. Then I will return you to your place of residence and we can rip this from the pages."

I didn't even try to correct him, I wasn't sure what expression he was trying to use. "That sounds like a really good plan," I grunted out, sarcasm heavy on my voice, "but how about instead you tell me what I'm doing here, and then you can just let me go, and I can... _hustle_ home."

I hadn't expected him to tell me, but apparently – I'd find this all out as he told the story – he'd become some sort of good-doer hero type over the time I had been water free and was running with a conscience now. While I thought that this idea was completely absurd and nonsensical, at the very least it got me a glimpse of at least a few rooms in his lair. Something I had only dreamed about. Really, I was a huge follower of the master of all villainy, and even if he wasn't so villainous anymore it was still positively delightful to see glimpses of things I had only read about.

When I'd received the full story, and a strange beverage I had been offered, I was shocked, to say the least. Megamind was my hero, I had wanted to be just like him ever since I was a teenager. It filled me with the strangest sense of pride and happiness that at one point in time, he had wanted to be _Bernard. _

"Hold on, you're with Roxanne Ritchi now?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Yes!" he'd exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air and twirling around in his rolling chair and dangerous speeds, "Isn't it positively wonderful!"

I'd never seen that coming. I should have, curse it, it was there all along. The frequent kidnapping card, the frequent kidnappings, of course there was an ulterior reason for why she was his only target. I thought I had enough knowledge of his psyche to predict anything he might do. I frowned deeply.

"Megamind?" a woman's voice called from somewhere, wafting through the room and reverberating off the metal of all the machines.

He jumped, stiffening, and in another second, he'd turned around, his lost blue ray clutched in his hand.

And the world was shrinking.

Or was I?

"Megamind! Was that _Bernard!"_


End file.
